Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
