I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ketchup is God's man juice
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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