how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
