Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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