24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
