Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
