remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
