She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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