well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
