I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
