Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
