Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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