U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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