his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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