yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize