I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
