He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
