no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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