Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
