I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
