She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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