Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
