He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
