He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
