The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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