I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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