I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
