Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize