YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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