i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
