I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
