He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
