Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
