I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Acid is not a monday night drug
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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