I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
