More tranny stories later!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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