Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
