we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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