Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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