I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
