one two three fourrrrnication!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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