a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
