I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just had sex bonerless
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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