Already got asked if we're dating
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
