me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
