Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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