that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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