I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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