Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
