i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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