we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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