I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
