so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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