No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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