I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
