2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You are the jesus of drinking
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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