My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize