you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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