soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize