so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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