I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
