yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
