my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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