Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
worst night to have a conscience
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
