My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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